Update

Whew! This year has flown by so fast! I have many mixed emotions for that. Don't we all. I'm proud to say that I am still nicotine free! Wooohooo. I just finished this semester at school with a 3.5 G.P.A. Not what I wanted but it's the best I could do with the schedule I have in my home life. So there is no regrets. I have one more class and than I will finally have a degree, that I wont use. haha Isn't that normally the story of a college graduate? I am getting ready to go into the life insurance business, I'm jumping in feet first, nervous though lots of studying to do before I get my license. Not what I thought I would do, but life brought me to it so, I'm along for the ride. The boys are growing so fast, Phisher is a blast, Cody and Levi are a handful trying to figure out this stage of their life and how to do my best raising them. And of course when Phisher gets to that age, I will have been through it twice already so I'll know how to make that stage of Phishers life a blast as well. Is this why the older children resent the baby at times? Because Mom finally knows what to do? haha. I'm sorry there is no pictures, I uploaded the last bunch to the lap top so they are not on here. I WILL find time soon. I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately and have found myself finally on the other side. The side where I no longer blame God for my life. I have always said I am grateful for my misfortunes because it made me, me and blah blah blah. Now I finally accept the things in my past that I had no control over, I know now that it wasn't God, but the ignorance of man. Finally I can feel at peace with my savior. Not gonna post specifics but I was really put through some horrible things before I even made it to junior high. With those things I made choices that affected my life for the worst. I know now that a girl with out guidance makes mistakes, a woman without guidance takes control and succeeds. Anyway it's wonderful feeling to have let God back into my heart. Well God bless. Have to get back to the family, Have a Merry Christmas everyone! See you in the New Year!

Vacation

We went to Nevis Minesota the last week of July for a family vacation. Phils' family owns a nice little fishing resort called Green Valley Resort.
Phisher Kade July 2009

Cody crossing the Mississippi, Phil and Phisher on the other side!

Crossing the Mississippi with my boys and other sight see'ers:)

Phil and PHisher

*warning* quitting smoking can cause your belly to pooch... ofcourse kids cause this too! haha

Do you have your tickets to the gun show?

Love me some tether ball, however, I don't believe Phil is a very even match for me

The boys loved the paddle boats

Phisher enjoying the water

Cody, ofcourse he can't go out till he gets a life jacket on

Not every picture can be a good picture, don't judge:)

Phisher and Gramma Janssen, he loved running down this hill.

Phil, Phisher, and Me

Levi spent a lot of time on this dock while we were there. And what a beautiful picture it made.

We quit

As always a hectic month:) But a little less hectic in a way. I no longer baby sit, which is a huge relief, I can spend the day with my baby teaching my baby things. And spend his nap time working on my homework, or playing with my older boys. Last Saterday Phil quit chewing, thank goodness. However he quit, so guess what I quit smoking. The headache that would of resulted from him griping about me smoking was just not worth it, so I took the initiative and quit to save our marriage from that argument that would have resulted. MOM, I quit smoking time for you to hold up your end of the bargain. Actually I'm gonna call you now since I haven't in a month! Now I'm leaving you a message since you never answer!

Cody and Levis' football league starts up August 4th practices 3days a week, The short break of their baseball season being over was nice:)

Phisher is still so sweet! And He is such a hamm! Everytime I yell for phil to come look at something Phisher is doing that is so cute, Phisher puts on a huge Grin ofcourse also stops doing whatever it was he was doing. He still only has 6 teeth, are his molar or eye teeth ever going to come in? Maybe this is why he still hasn't gone through the biting stage? He climbs up and on everything, Driving me crazy. Well about out of time and I'd like to post a few pictures:) Baseball practice at 4 so gotta get to it:) These pictures are really random and sooo out of order. Thats what I get for not keeping it up to date... I also wanted to ask that everyone say a prayer for Carrie Dickson, Her husband Tony died in an automobile accident this past Wednesday. (Tony and Phil played on the same softball team, and worked through the same union together. Any way he leaves behind his lovely wife Carrie and two beautiful boys.

We were put on the 18th floor in the millenium hotel for our trip to Cincinatti, It had a great view, but seriously I'm terrified of elevators.

Cody and some of his team mates holding up their sectional trophies

Cody's undefeated baseball team

Happy 7th birthday Levi! we couldn't celebrate it till we got home from Cincinatti but I think he had a great birthday.

Nighttime swimming Cody and Levi

They had the music blaring I don't think Phisher liked it to well

Cody enjoying the nighttime swimming at the hotel in Cincinatti

Levi, Phisher and Cody, on our way to Cincinatti, This picture was Actually takin on Levi's 7th birthday.

Phil and I on our way to Cincinatti for Phils baseball tournament

Phil and I at my highschool reunion... Needless to say I had a blast and loved seeing everyone I went to school with.

TO busy!

So apologetic that I haven't updated or kept up to date, school is kicking my hiny, Cody and Levi just finished up their baseball leagues, Cody's' team went undefeated, Levi still plays coach pitch so we didn't keep a close eye on scores, though he did lose his first game in his tournament. In which I missed most of the game because of the "episode". Phisher, likes to run back and forth up and down the path of lawn chairs and bleachers during the games. The other parents help corr ale him, it's kind of like herding cows, they turn him to run back the opposite direction. However Monday, He was running and fell on some lumpy uneven ground, when he fell his cookie flew out of his hand, he let out a cry and I rushed to pick up. well he stopped crying and I thought he must of had the wind knocked out of him, his mouth wide open trying to catch his breath, I was gently padding him on the back telling him to take a breath, and sooth my poor baby, when all of a sudden he turned blue and went limp in my arms, and than it hit me, HE'S CHOKING! Of course I'm a panic stricken mother who screams, "oh my god my babies choking" as I flip him over and pound on his back. He quickly started crying, and with my tunnel vision at the time I don't know who came to my babies aid, but I remember someone placing their hand on me and telling me he's OK he's crying, which was their way of saying quit hitting your baby. So even though after the episode and he was fine, I could tell he was exhausted, and with it heavy on my mind I sat in my car and cried through most of the game. Any who, he's fine and healthy as ever, It might have left me traumatized though. Phil's' games are also over for awhile, but my games are twice a week through August, and by than Co-ed starts up so Phil and I will be busy with that, thank goodness that those games are only on Sunday afternoon though. I will try to post pictures soon! Hope everyone had a wonderful June, I'll try to read every ones blogs:) If your on facebook, it's easier to keep up to date with me since I post from my phone and upload pictures from my phone.

I am 28

I love it! Each year is a blessing and I am so excited about my new age! This year for my birthday my husband sent me flowers and baloons with a teddy bear, just to darn sweet! I love being surprised like that. He is putting so many hours in at work, and than with my softball, his softball and Cody and Levis' baseball we didn't have time to celebrate my birthday untill Friday night where he took me to the Casino where we had a blast blowing $200. I cant think of a better way I would have liked to have spent that money:) haha

Phil was winning here, ofcourse he put it all back into the machine though! but Its fine, like I said we had a great time.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love fat arm pictures? haha

Bowling, bubbles, and my new ride

Me in my new vehicle, notice my wedding rings:) I've lost so much weight they barely stay on, I need desperately to get them resized!


My Torrent, I love it!


He is a mess in in this picture, but still soooo cute! I love him so much, It is so hard to believe that he is 14 months old! His hair is a mess, but we probably won't have it cut till he is closer to his second birthday, and his hair can normally be brushed to the side, and just looks adorable that way.

Phisher is a big helper and insists on throwing his own diaper away, I didn't teach him to do this, He just did it one day, and ofcourse now I encourage it. He also puts his toys in the toy box, and the other day, he was told sternly to leave the t.v. alone (he loves the green power light and loves to turn it off) in which case he pouted all the way to the corner, I was not fast enough and only got a picture of him leaving the corner, my camera has literally been on my hip for the past 2 days, because he has done it several times, I'm determined to get a picture of him putting himself in the corner!


What baby does not love bubbles?



Phisher helping daddy bowl!


Phisher looks more and more like his daddy everyday! He's soooo blonde you can hardly tell he has hair here!

I am a horrible bowler! Notice my score, and the rails are up! PATHETIC! hahaha


I cannot believe that in a month this awesome little boy will be 7!!!! And Cody is half way to 9! where has the time gone?

Not a really good picture, can hardly see Cody, but Phishers' face is priceless here! loves it!

My sweet baby boy, I mean my sweet 8 year old, who will no longer kiss his mother!!!!! SAD:(

But this baby boy will still kiss his momma, even makes the smooch sound! He'll start making the sound, smooch smooch smooch, you should see Phil come running for those kisses! Anyway here he is helping me bowl, he was laughing soooo hard, precious

April Update

So I wrote the "paper" turned it in and my finacial advisor has told me that he is sure they will approve it, so what a relief! I deleted the previous post because I'm sure that whoever wanted to read it has, and although what I wrote is not a secret I don't like to put certain things out there for all the world to read who might stumble upon my blog. I have had a rough life but I like to focus on the good of it, and it definately has been equally great, as it's been devastating at times, but thank goodness for that, I believe I am a very well rounded person for it! But keep my paper and the committee who will oversee it in your prayers, that they do hear the extraordinary circumstances and understand. That my appeal will be accepted so my husband and I don't have deplete our savings!

On another note! Phisher finally has his top teeth! Only took him about 8 months to add to his "grill". So precious!
Also, we did get two new puppies, "lilly poo" is a black chawienie and "Jack" is a brown beegle dashcund mix. Sorry Cami, I hope that you don't mind that my dog is using Lilly Jewels' name. We got our dogs from a dashcund rescue and they were prenamed, Lillys' name was originaly Ebony and I thought it was to cliche, after realizing that I gave the dog "Lilly's" name, I tried to change it to Libby but the husband said no because we had already been using the other name for a couple days, and said the dog was confused enough.
Also the Husband bought me a new ride! So in love with her, she is a silver pontiac Torrent and is beautiful! I will be posting pictures soon!

I wish you enough

This has always been one of my favorites and I can honestly said I've always had enough.



I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”

- - - written by Bob Perks

Phishers' first dentist app.

Phishers' first dentist appointment March 25th 2009. I know I could of waited since he only has his 2 bottom teeth, but I want to make sure his teeth are strong.
He did really really well! I'm very proud of him, he did get a little mad when Dr. Winn started probing around in his tiny mouth. But he wasn't overly upset, and easy to calm down when she was finished.

None of your buisness

This past weekend I was confronted with some news of someone speaking really rash about me and even mocking me. I was really taken aback, first of all, I knew this person had felt that way but only because I am really good at reading people. It had never been confirmed to me. Although, I believe at one point in my life or another I have been every bad description of a person known to man, I have a mile long list of faults, So I was not upset and am not upset by anything that was said, I understand that sometime you can do something an in inoccent mannor that will change a persons' perception of you for life. I also believe that you can wrong someone without even realizing an apology is needed. I know that some people hold on to things with a heavy burdon, and I suppose if I were to say that I am completly grudge free, I would be lieing. I have made an awesome grudgaholic (I know not a word) recovery. At the end of the day, you have to let it go. And more importantly you can not worry about what others think of you, What they think is none of your buisness. And you should do your best to not let it be your buisness.

Phisher is completly weened!

This Tuesday at 5:30am will be two weeks since Phisher has nursed last... ofcourse he couldn't nurse now even if him or I wanted him too. It's been a huge change around here! And I love it!, Mostly because, for his 12:00 nap and bedtime at 9, all I have to do is kiss him and lay him in his crib and within 10 minutes he is asleep! and He sleeps all night now! Before, you couldn't just lay him in his crib if you did, he would continue to cry untill you broke and went and got him, seriously he's cried about an hour before with no signs of stopping. and He didn't sleep all through the night untill I'm thinking he was 9 or 10 months old, and even than it was like once or twice a week. My husband says that we should of weened him a long time ago, but I had to remind him that I diligently tried too. He wouldn't take a bottle, wouldn't take a sippy cup, than I finally got him to take a sippy cup but he wouldn't drink formula. ugh! It really was a pain. well gotta go! Happy 1st day of spring!

Happy 1st Birthday Phisher Kade Benge!

The cake I decorated for everyone(I know, I'm not good at it, but I didnt want to buy one, I wanted it to be special and made with love)


The cake just for Phisher again made with love:)



Phisher is really shy around people he doesn't know very well, and it took him awhile to remove himself from between his daddys' legs.






A very proud poppa and are darling baby boy




Avery and Landon (Phishers best-friends)

This picture is out of order but I'm running out of time and don't feel like fixing it:) We did his birthday in Nemo, I thought it would be appropriate since his name is Phisher.



Phisher loves him so trucks!

OOOOOH whats this! A book for bedtime! YAY!

Aunt Loraine and Uncle Lesly(sp) bought Phisher a new teddy bear! He loves it!

Phisher checking out the new book mommy and daddy bought him

A swing from Gramma Janssen! loves it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!



I love this beautiful messy face!

I think His belly is starting to get upset from all the icing and cake!

Apparently I suck though, I didn't get any pictures of Levi being there, None of Phils' family or any of our friends that made it. Really sorry about that. I'm normally better about that. But Phisher had a really good turn out of people that came to support him and his first birthday! I cried most of Thurseday which was his actual birthday.... I can't help but be emotional about it, I just can't believe a year has passed so quickly by, and although I know I took a million pictures, I still don't feel that it was enough, And it probably wouldn't of gotten to me so much if it wasn't the fact that I know how quickly time flys, and before I know it, phisher will be 8 and Cody 16 and Levi 15. I just can't help but to be sad if only there were more hours in a day and more days in the year. I am really happy though, I have a wonderful family and a great life.

Monday I decided to go ahead and wean phisher from nurseing, if any one has any great tips for the pain I'm dealing with in my chest that would be great! Babysitting all these babies I never realized how much they kick and hit me there untill now just raising my arms above my head is a chore I don't want to do untill the swelling goes away! ahhhhhhh!