Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Fat Fat and more fat!!!!
So this is me for now, once again I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy. Why does it seem so right when I'm pregnant to just be OK with eating a whole container of Oreo cookies, or 3 helpings of mashed potatoes? It's not just that I HAVE to eat this much, it's that I feel like I will die if I don't succumb to the temptation of eating 10 servings of potato chips. So now I sit here and wonder how in the world can I not have any control when I'm pregnant? This I may never know, and will never try to explore that again. Now I am 11 weeks post par tum and I am at 195 lbs. I'm not afraid to admit this. I'm afraid that in 6 months I will still weight that much. I'm currently nursing Emma so I can't do anything "drastic" like starvation or practice purging my meals, how ever I did try to make my self purge after realizing that 2 smores with the campfire "huge" marsh mellows contained a whopping 720 calories. I would of succeeded but for some reason my darling husband had a fit of it, not really sure why but what ev. Though I was really upset after finding out the calorie intake when I had been 400 calories under my daily allowance and thought for sure that I could have two and not go over... Boy was I wrong. So anyway, I am currently eating LARGE 3-400 calorie salads for lunch and dinner and Eggs Benedict for breakfast. This puts me at about 1300 calories a day, with my vitamins, and fiber supplements. The best part of a salad is the lettuce itself is filling and you can eat a hole head and not break 100 calories. (I don't, just saying) My goal is to lose 2lbs a week and be back to my ideal weight of 140 by the end of January. I'm up to any suggestions anyone has to help lose weight safely. I try to run for 30min a day as well as a workout tape for 20 min. I would of thought that I would of lost a pound by now, but still no luck. Hopefully my body will see soon that it's OK to let go of the fat. (This post is not to judge anyone by how much they weigh or where they enjoy their ideal personal weight to be, and just because I find myself at an unhealthy fat of 195, does not mean in anyway that if you are at this weight or above that I see you the way that I view myself)