Fat Fat and more fat!!!!

So this is me for now, once again I gained 50 pounds during my pregnancy. Why does it seem so right when I'm pregnant to just be OK with eating a whole container of Oreo cookies, or 3 helpings of mashed potatoes? It's not just that I HAVE to eat this much, it's that I feel like I will die if I don't succumb to the temptation of eating 10 servings of potato chips. So now I sit here and wonder how in the world can I not have any control when I'm pregnant? This I may never know, and will never try to explore that again. Now I am 11 weeks post par tum and I am at 195 lbs. I'm not afraid to admit this. I'm afraid that in 6 months I will still weight that much. I'm currently nursing Emma so I can't do anything "drastic" like starvation or practice purging my meals, how ever I did try to make my self purge after realizing that 2 smores with the campfire "huge" marsh mellows contained a whopping 720 calories. I would of succeeded but for some reason my darling husband had a fit of it, not really sure why but what ev. Though I was really upset after finding out the calorie intake when I had been 400 calories under my daily allowance and thought for sure that I could have two and not go over... Boy was I wrong. So anyway, I am currently eating LARGE 3-400 calorie salads for lunch and dinner and Eggs Benedict for breakfast. This puts me at about 1300 calories a day, with my vitamins, and fiber supplements. The best part of a salad is the lettuce itself is filling and you can eat a hole head and not break 100 calories. (I don't, just saying) My goal is to lose 2lbs a week and be back to my ideal weight of 140 by the end of January. I'm up to any suggestions anyone has to help lose weight safely. I try to run for 30min a day as well as a workout tape for 20 min. I would of thought that I would of lost a pound by now, but still no luck. Hopefully my body will see soon that it's OK to let go of the fat. (This post is not to judge anyone by how much they weigh or where they enjoy their ideal personal weight to be, and just because I find myself at an unhealthy fat of 195, does not mean in anyway that if you are at this weight or above that I see you the way that I view myself)

The story of Emma June

The morning of April 25Th I'm asleep but I'm dreaming, dreaming about being in labor, every time I roll over I have a contraction. You know the dreams where you're not sure if you're dreaming about the alarm going off or if it really is...? This is the dreaming about labor I'm having. About 4:30 am my husband wakes me to give me a kiss before leaving for work. I tell him "I might be calling you later every time I roll over I have a contraction". Still half asleep so I'm not sure what's real. 6:30am comes and it's time to get the older boys up for school, I notice that while walking around the house I'm becoming crampy. The bus comes at 7:20 I kiss them and send them out to the bus. I decide that I would go ahead and start packing my bags for the hospital meanwhile the contractions/crampy feelings start having a rhythm to them coming more frequently. I decide to take a shower and give my husband a call. I know from my own experience, that once the contractions start coming, my baby will be born in a couple of hours. Since my husband works a half hour away in the town that the hospital is at where we plan to give birth I know that if I wait till the contractions are minutes apart I could have the baby on the way. So about 10:00 We drop Phisher off with Phil's sister Jennie and we head to the hospital. Every pot hole gives me a contraction. We get to the hospital and they check my vitals, and my blood pressure was high, they have me lay on my left side in which case stops my contractions. They check me and I'm dilated to 2 maybe 3, in which that's what I was on Friday (this is happening on a Monday). So they let me lay for an hour check me again and I haven't progressed at all. The nurse tells me to go home have sex and come back on Wednesday when I'm scheduled to be induced. She reminds me that this is my forth baby and that I haven't gone on my own yet and won't, that my body just doesn't know how to go into labor on its own. She also proceeds to tell me that what I'm feeling is just the weight of the baby pressing on my uterus... So while waiting to be released Phil decides to take a nap.


We get released around 11:30 and decide to stop and have lunch at Pizza Hut. While walking into Pizza Hut the contractions come back, all I can think is this is so dumb, I KNOW This is LABOR, but maybe I don't know, because I have never gone into labor on my own. We finish lunch and we are getting ready to leave the parking lot and I experience another contraction followed by me peeing myself.... I think maybe this is my water breaking but I chalk it up to "how nice I just peed myself in my new vehicle and caused my husband to lose a days wages for nothing". We make it home do as the nurse tells us to do, not to be to descriptive but I'm having contractions the whole time. We are all adults here and just duly note that it was ALL business and no fun. True story. By this time its 2:00, the contractions are getting stronger (of course my water broke, than I had my husband do "work" to soften my cervix for Wednesday, novel idea nurse). My mom calls me and I tell her the situation my contractions are coming every 5min, and lasting a minute. She tells me I'm in labor and that I know this and to go back to the hospital. We had already picked Phisher back up from Jennies, so we take Phish back to Jennies and then we head back to the hospital. The nurse Is COMPLETELY annoyed with my return. Picture if you will the receptionist from Monsters inc. It's 3:15 she checks to see my progress still 2 to 3. She hooks me up me back up says she will go ahead and monitor me for an hour. The contractions are very strong at this point, and all I can think about is going #2. So what do I put my poor dear husband through now? You might have guessed it, but probably not.... I make him hold my hand While I poo. (Too much information absolutely but this is Emma's story, nothing pretty about it though nothing short of a miracle). Around 4:00pm the nurse comes in, she's looking at the monitor, she's feeling my huge belly during my contractions, and than she tells me... your not in labor, your just having braxton hicks contractions, we are going to have to send you home. Now imagine being in full blown labor and hearing those words, shear panic went through me. I knew that if this was labor that it would be over in a couple hours tops, but braxton hicks................... when will this end? I looked at my husband and I told him "there is no way I can do this" In a moment of despair I ask the nurse "please just check me again, I know I'm in labor" so she ho hums around the foot of the bed slowly putting on her gloves, completely annoyed with me, reiterating the point that I'm not in labor that I'm having braxton hicks contractions, she checks me............ and says "OH MY YOU'RE AT 6" In one hour I dilated 3 cm. Thank you sweet baby Jesus. I know as soon as she says 6 that I am going with out an epidural, which is what I wanted but at this point I wish I could take a Tylenol or something just to dull the pain. By this time it is 4:15pm and the nasty nurse has done a 180 and become the sweetest, most helpful nurse I have ever had. Reminding me to breath in through my nose out through my mouth. Crazy how hearing someone tell you that can make labor so much easier. In less than two hours after she told me I was experiencing braxton hicks I gave birth to my Emma June. 5:45pm 9lbs 1 ounce. And all I can think is that if she would of sent me home I would of had Emma at home.



In the birth of one special little girl I got everything I had ever wanted. I wanted a little girl, (though I just never wanted to admit it or say it out loud) I wanted to go into labor on my own. (I was induced with all 3 boys), I wanted the experience of my water breaking. I wanted to give birth getting the whole experience with no epidural. I wanted the experience of not knowing the sex till I gave birth and I wanted my baby born on the 15Th or the 25Th.(Cody has a 29 birthday and Levi has a 19 and Phish had a 5 so I thought it would be cool if she was born with a 5 in her birthday).Oh and of course I wanted my husband to have to hold my hand through my bowel movement? Just kidding.
She Completely completed our family, and we love her so dearly.

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2011 is finally here;)

2011 is finally here, as if it took it's time!?!?!? I am now 25 weeks along in my pregnancy, how exciting how time flies, and yet terrifying. Only 14 weeks left and baby will be here. The husband and I are having the hardest time deciding on names for a boy, however we have 3 girl names that we love and we love them so much the only way to come to a decision is this. If we have a girl and her hair is blonde her name will be Tenley June, if her hair is red her name will be Sophia June, and if her hair is brown her name will be Reagan June. I wish we had this problem for a boy! My husband loves the name Maxwell & Uriah. I love the name Spencer & Everett. Neither one us like the others choice of names. So lets hope we can come to a perfect solution to this dilema since chances are this will be a boy baby.

More exciting news, I'm going back to being a stay at home mom. We decided that by the time we put 4 children in daycare, pay for diapers/formula, and pay for my work expenses (which are costly) we would be better off if I stay home. So I am very excited to do this. Ofcourse I will be going back to selling on ebay and I have started a new hobby of COUPONING that I absolutely love, I'm not really good at grocery shopping with coupons yet. Though I can get A LOT for free from CVS. I am completely addicted and loving every minute of it. Yesturday I scored Crest toothpaste (normally $3.79) and 3 candy bars for 12 cents. Did I need toothpaste? NO I already have 4 tubes, did I need candy bars nope, but they are good bribes to the boys for doing chores, being good, you know the tricks us moms have to use sometimes. But for 12 cents and I got back $2 extra care bucks it was worth getting those things. Well I promised Phish I would play cars with him so I need to go play with my beautiful 2 year old!!! Much love to everyone in this new upcoming year!!!!