April Update

So I wrote the "paper" turned it in and my finacial advisor has told me that he is sure they will approve it, so what a relief! I deleted the previous post because I'm sure that whoever wanted to read it has, and although what I wrote is not a secret I don't like to put certain things out there for all the world to read who might stumble upon my blog. I have had a rough life but I like to focus on the good of it, and it definately has been equally great, as it's been devastating at times, but thank goodness for that, I believe I am a very well rounded person for it! But keep my paper and the committee who will oversee it in your prayers, that they do hear the extraordinary circumstances and understand. That my appeal will be accepted so my husband and I don't have deplete our savings!

On another note! Phisher finally has his top teeth! Only took him about 8 months to add to his "grill". So precious!
Also, we did get two new puppies, "lilly poo" is a black chawienie and "Jack" is a brown beegle dashcund mix. Sorry Cami, I hope that you don't mind that my dog is using Lilly Jewels' name. We got our dogs from a dashcund rescue and they were prenamed, Lillys' name was originaly Ebony and I thought it was to cliche, after realizing that I gave the dog "Lilly's" name, I tried to change it to Libby but the husband said no because we had already been using the other name for a couple days, and said the dog was confused enough.
Also the Husband bought me a new ride! So in love with her, she is a silver pontiac Torrent and is beautiful! I will be posting pictures soon!

I wish you enough

This has always been one of my favorites and I can honestly said I've always had enough.



I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”

- - - written by Bob Perks

Phishers' first dentist app.

Phishers' first dentist appointment March 25th 2009. I know I could of waited since he only has his 2 bottom teeth, but I want to make sure his teeth are strong.
He did really really well! I'm very proud of him, he did get a little mad when Dr. Winn started probing around in his tiny mouth. But he wasn't overly upset, and easy to calm down when she was finished.

None of your buisness

This past weekend I was confronted with some news of someone speaking really rash about me and even mocking me. I was really taken aback, first of all, I knew this person had felt that way but only because I am really good at reading people. It had never been confirmed to me. Although, I believe at one point in my life or another I have been every bad description of a person known to man, I have a mile long list of faults, So I was not upset and am not upset by anything that was said, I understand that sometime you can do something an in inoccent mannor that will change a persons' perception of you for life. I also believe that you can wrong someone without even realizing an apology is needed. I know that some people hold on to things with a heavy burdon, and I suppose if I were to say that I am completly grudge free, I would be lieing. I have made an awesome grudgaholic (I know not a word) recovery. At the end of the day, you have to let it go. And more importantly you can not worry about what others think of you, What they think is none of your buisness. And you should do your best to not let it be your buisness.

Phisher is completly weened!

This Tuesday at 5:30am will be two weeks since Phisher has nursed last... ofcourse he couldn't nurse now even if him or I wanted him too. It's been a huge change around here! And I love it!, Mostly because, for his 12:00 nap and bedtime at 9, all I have to do is kiss him and lay him in his crib and within 10 minutes he is asleep! and He sleeps all night now! Before, you couldn't just lay him in his crib if you did, he would continue to cry untill you broke and went and got him, seriously he's cried about an hour before with no signs of stopping. and He didn't sleep all through the night untill I'm thinking he was 9 or 10 months old, and even than it was like once or twice a week. My husband says that we should of weened him a long time ago, but I had to remind him that I diligently tried too. He wouldn't take a bottle, wouldn't take a sippy cup, than I finally got him to take a sippy cup but he wouldn't drink formula. ugh! It really was a pain. well gotta go! Happy 1st day of spring!

Happy 1st Birthday Phisher Kade Benge!

The cake I decorated for everyone(I know, I'm not good at it, but I didnt want to buy one, I wanted it to be special and made with love)


The cake just for Phisher again made with love:)



Phisher is really shy around people he doesn't know very well, and it took him awhile to remove himself from between his daddys' legs.






A very proud poppa and are darling baby boy




Avery and Landon (Phishers best-friends)

This picture is out of order but I'm running out of time and don't feel like fixing it:) We did his birthday in Nemo, I thought it would be appropriate since his name is Phisher.



Phisher loves him so trucks!

OOOOOH whats this! A book for bedtime! YAY!

Aunt Loraine and Uncle Lesly(sp) bought Phisher a new teddy bear! He loves it!

Phisher checking out the new book mommy and daddy bought him

A swing from Gramma Janssen! loves it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!



I love this beautiful messy face!

I think His belly is starting to get upset from all the icing and cake!

Apparently I suck though, I didn't get any pictures of Levi being there, None of Phils' family or any of our friends that made it. Really sorry about that. I'm normally better about that. But Phisher had a really good turn out of people that came to support him and his first birthday! I cried most of Thurseday which was his actual birthday.... I can't help but be emotional about it, I just can't believe a year has passed so quickly by, and although I know I took a million pictures, I still don't feel that it was enough, And it probably wouldn't of gotten to me so much if it wasn't the fact that I know how quickly time flys, and before I know it, phisher will be 8 and Cody 16 and Levi 15. I just can't help but to be sad if only there were more hours in a day and more days in the year. I am really happy though, I have a wonderful family and a great life.

Monday I decided to go ahead and wean phisher from nurseing, if any one has any great tips for the pain I'm dealing with in my chest that would be great! Babysitting all these babies I never realized how much they kick and hit me there untill now just raising my arms above my head is a chore I don't want to do untill the swelling goes away! ahhhhhhh!

My baby turns 1!

Where has this year gone? Tomorrow Phisher Kade turns 1! How crazy, It's been a busy first year and he has accomplished so many things, and I have been able to witness all of his firsts. I'm very thank ful for that. He has changed so much in his appearance, it's amazing. He is a very happy baby. Very witty and funny and full of love. I'm so very thankful that God decided that Phil and I needed this baby and that Phisher needed us.