None of your buisness

This past weekend I was confronted with some news of someone speaking really rash about me and even mocking me. I was really taken aback, first of all, I knew this person had felt that way but only because I am really good at reading people. It had never been confirmed to me. Although, I believe at one point in my life or another I have been every bad description of a person known to man, I have a mile long list of faults, So I was not upset and am not upset by anything that was said, I understand that sometime you can do something an in inoccent mannor that will change a persons' perception of you for life. I also believe that you can wrong someone without even realizing an apology is needed. I know that some people hold on to things with a heavy burdon, and I suppose if I were to say that I am completly grudge free, I would be lieing. I have made an awesome grudgaholic (I know not a word) recovery. At the end of the day, you have to let it go. And more importantly you can not worry about what others think of you, What they think is none of your buisness. And you should do your best to not let it be your buisness.

Phisher is completly weened!

This Tuesday at 5:30am will be two weeks since Phisher has nursed last... ofcourse he couldn't nurse now even if him or I wanted him too. It's been a huge change around here! And I love it!, Mostly because, for his 12:00 nap and bedtime at 9, all I have to do is kiss him and lay him in his crib and within 10 minutes he is asleep! and He sleeps all night now! Before, you couldn't just lay him in his crib if you did, he would continue to cry untill you broke and went and got him, seriously he's cried about an hour before with no signs of stopping. and He didn't sleep all through the night untill I'm thinking he was 9 or 10 months old, and even than it was like once or twice a week. My husband says that we should of weened him a long time ago, but I had to remind him that I diligently tried too. He wouldn't take a bottle, wouldn't take a sippy cup, than I finally got him to take a sippy cup but he wouldn't drink formula. ugh! It really was a pain. well gotta go! Happy 1st day of spring!

Happy 1st Birthday Phisher Kade Benge!

The cake I decorated for everyone(I know, I'm not good at it, but I didnt want to buy one, I wanted it to be special and made with love)


The cake just for Phisher again made with love:)



Phisher is really shy around people he doesn't know very well, and it took him awhile to remove himself from between his daddys' legs.






A very proud poppa and are darling baby boy




Avery and Landon (Phishers best-friends)

This picture is out of order but I'm running out of time and don't feel like fixing it:) We did his birthday in Nemo, I thought it would be appropriate since his name is Phisher.



Phisher loves him so trucks!

OOOOOH whats this! A book for bedtime! YAY!

Aunt Loraine and Uncle Lesly(sp) bought Phisher a new teddy bear! He loves it!

Phisher checking out the new book mommy and daddy bought him

A swing from Gramma Janssen! loves it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!



I love this beautiful messy face!

I think His belly is starting to get upset from all the icing and cake!

Apparently I suck though, I didn't get any pictures of Levi being there, None of Phils' family or any of our friends that made it. Really sorry about that. I'm normally better about that. But Phisher had a really good turn out of people that came to support him and his first birthday! I cried most of Thurseday which was his actual birthday.... I can't help but be emotional about it, I just can't believe a year has passed so quickly by, and although I know I took a million pictures, I still don't feel that it was enough, And it probably wouldn't of gotten to me so much if it wasn't the fact that I know how quickly time flys, and before I know it, phisher will be 8 and Cody 16 and Levi 15. I just can't help but to be sad if only there were more hours in a day and more days in the year. I am really happy though, I have a wonderful family and a great life.

Monday I decided to go ahead and wean phisher from nurseing, if any one has any great tips for the pain I'm dealing with in my chest that would be great! Babysitting all these babies I never realized how much they kick and hit me there untill now just raising my arms above my head is a chore I don't want to do untill the swelling goes away! ahhhhhhh!

My baby turns 1!

Where has this year gone? Tomorrow Phisher Kade turns 1! How crazy, It's been a busy first year and he has accomplished so many things, and I have been able to witness all of his firsts. I'm very thank ful for that. He has changed so much in his appearance, it's amazing. He is a very happy baby. Very witty and funny and full of love. I'm so very thankful that God decided that Phil and I needed this baby and that Phisher needed us.

Feels like today

Some good news! My husband got yet another raise! It's his 3rd since June, I am really proud of him and his hard work. He works through a union and is still in the apprenticeship program, The raise he got in June, everyone gets, That raise was to signify that he was no longer a 2nd year but a 3rd year. I don't remember exactly when but a few months ago, they moved him to 4th year pay and yesturday they moved him to 5th year pay. I'm just gonna pray that the economy holds and improves so he doesn't get laid off, always that possibility in the construction line of work.

Another good news, had court with the ex-husband today over child-support. They didn't put him in jail, he has till April 2nd to get his cdl license renewed, get a job and start paying. If not, then they will sentence him to 30 days work release. I know that if I hadn't asked that he not be put in jail, they would of. I just didn't want the burden of telling my children that their father was in jail, when they were younger it was different, I didn't have to tell them because they had no concept of time. So I'm just really confident that we will finally start recieving help. Did I mention, that in the last 6 years he's only paid me 2,300? Sad to think that he is so far behind that he could potentially still be paying me childsupport when the boys are in their 30's. Hope everyone else has loads of good news today as well!

Want and you shall recieve

Lastnight the family and I went to Lafayette to pick up my portraits and some new picture frames. And a new pair of shoes for Cody (kids go through shoes soooo fast).
And to my surprise right there next to the picture frames..... what did I see? Stainless steel pots and pans! *WOOT* And they were on sale. So with my witty self, I say out loud oh look, Pots and pans. My wonderful husband says well lets have a look see!!!!!!!! So guess who got one of her wish list items!!!!????? Yup yours truly! YAY! I loves loves loves my husband!

I Want....

Friday night I was informed that I want and want and that I am never satisfied. So I thought I would maybe vent just a tad.... and also get all my wants out so I understand just how many I have.... and maybe distinguish between my needs.


I have everything I need.... That being established... heres my wants.


1)I want a matching new bedroom suit. one with an actual bed, and not just the boxspring and matress on the floor.... dressers that open (slide open) easily.

2.) I want to travel to somewhere I've never been to once a year.

3.) This can go in with number 2, but I want to take the boys to disney world, land whatever, while they are still young enough to enjoy the fantasy of it.... I've never been there myself.

4.) I want to have absolutely no debt other than my mortgage.

5.) I want to go camping every year, I love it, Cody and Levi love it! and it's great family bonding time that everyone can remember forever.

Thats all my wants: Lets see where my "I would likes can bring me"

I would like to have more than 1 pair of pants that aren't 4 years old.

I would like new pots and pans that I didn't get second hand 6 years ago, or that my husband didn't buy from the dollar store when he was a bachelor 6 years ago.

I would like a family portrait with the whole family in it.

And I would like to get out of the house atleast every two weeks even if its just to the grocery without kids in tow........


And for the record I didn't want a Wii, and I didn't want Power tools.... Just saying.


ope, Yup I see it clearly now.... I am selfish, over self indulged and completly never satisfied... I will have to work on that.